Darkness and Light: 13x1 Karma to Burn Tag
by csijenniferlynn
Summary: Sara is left with a heavy heart after dealing with major crises in the lab family. Grissom comforts her from afar. Contains major spoilers for 13x1.


Author's Note: After watching the Season 13 Premier tonight, I just couldn't fall asleep, so made myself tired by writing a little tag. The teeny tiny GSR shout-out got me going. I hope you enjoy my late-night, tired musings, but if you don't, by all means, let me know that midnight one-shots are not my forte.

Do not read this unless you've seen Season 13, Episode 1: Karma to Burn.

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_Holy crap! Did I just talk about that out loud? _Sara was sitting at the break room's table with Greg and Nick. She and Nick had just been arguing. What a surprise. With their hot tempers, they argued enough as it was, but with Ecklie having just been shot and fighting for his life, DB's granddaughter being held hostage, Finn nearly getting herself killed, and DB nearly going off his rocker, the atmosphere had been even more tense than usual.

Nick had quit. Sara had dragged his drunk ass back to work because, well, because she desperately needed help working this case, what with Finn, Morgan, and DB all being pieces of the case, and, perhaps just as or more importantly, because Nick needed to get his head out of his ass and realize his dormant rage toward McKeen made him quit, not his true feelings. She knew he still had something to contribute to this team and wasn't about to let him leave it without a fight.

She and Greg had broached the subject of Nick reneging on the whole quitting thing, and Sara suddenly found herself giving voice to something she'd never talked about, other than with Grissom (and she had only done that grudgingly). She had actually just said, _out loud_, that when she left, she had left a note for Grissom and just walked right out the door. Then, of course, she and Nick were going back and forth until Greg, who used to be the crazy kid and was now the voice of reason, pulled them back to a rational level.

Sara was pretty certain Nick just said he'd stay on. She was pretty certain DB, who had walked in moments ago, was currently thanking the three of them for their help with finding his little Katie. She was pretty sure she ought to be listening attentively for an update on Ecklie's condition, but she found her mind was elsewhere.

Truly, she tried to forget the day she walked out on Grissom and her team. Before she and Grissom married, she rarely talked about her personal life, having always preferred to hide the demons of her past in a closet somewhere. Since she had married Grissom and he had left the lab, she'd become even less likely to talk about her personal life; she wanted Grissom to be hers and hers alone. They had worked for years upon years to get to the point of true and permanent togetherness, and that was something she wanted to cherish as her own. Grissom was no longer property of the lab; he was hers alone. Yet, she just spouted out a tirade about the lowest day of their entire relationship.

That day. So long ago, and yet so fresh in her mind at the moment. The guilt she carried with her for leaving the way she did was overpowering. The urge to talk to Grissom trumped her ability to reason, and Sara found herself sliding from the break room, too intent on her own goal to care whether she was being exceedingly rude or not. As soon as the cool morning air rushed across her face and swept hair into her eyes just outside the front doors, Sara hastily dialed Grissom's number. She did not care to worry that she'd be waking Grissom up in Mexico City. All she cared about was hearing his voice.

"Good morning, Sara Sidle. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Grissom's voice was gravelly with sleep, and because international texting rates were outrageous and because the case had been so time-sensitive and personal, Grissom had never been informed about what was happening in Vegas as he slept the night away.

Sara swallowed hard before she was able to use her voice. "God Gil, I just really love you." Sara's voice was heavily laden with emotion, and Grissom could physically feel her pain and sadness.

"Honey, what happened? Are you okay? Are Greg and Nick okay? What about everyone else?" Grissom almost couldn't stop asking questions to hear an answer, so worried was he for his wife.

"Griss, we're all okay now. Listen, it's a long story. I'll talk in detail later, so please don't pester me for details. McKeen was back in action. Nick was so angry, he quit. His guys shot and nearly killed Ecklie. His guys kidnapped DB's granddaughter and Finn. Every one of our guys is alive and back with us. Ecklie will recover fine. Nick is not quitting anymore. I think that's it." Sara sighed heavily; the weight of the world on her shoulders seemed to be making it difficult for her to even draw breath.

Grissom found it exceedingly difficult not to pry Sara with questions. After all, McKeen killed Warrick. McKeen was the reason he still had vivid nightmares in which he was holding Warrick's bleeding, dying body again and again. Apparently, Ecklie was fighting for his life. It's not that he cared a ton for the man, and yet, they had been colleagues and enemies for over a decade. And what was this about Nick quitting? And yet, he knew Sara needed him to only worry about her. Answers would have to come later.

"Sara?" Grissom quietly asked.

"Mmm?"

"Honey, I really love you, too, but why did you need to tell me that so urgently? You're not okay, are you? Please, clue me in."

Sara sighed again. She was fighting a losing battle with her emotions, and a single tear trickled down her cheek before she was able to answer. Somewhere between and whisper and a whimper, she replied, "I told them, Greg and Nick. I told them that I just left you a letter and walked right out. I left you, Gil. I try so hard not to go there, but the darkness, Gil, I can see it, I can feel it again. I am so, so sorry."

Tears fell heavily against Sara's cell phone. Grissom murmured soft little nothings through the phone to her as she cried. Only when she had all but stopped did Grissom reply. His words were gentle, but firm. "Sara Sidle, listen to me. We made it through that darkness. Don't you be sorry. We're together now, and that's all that matters. My world has more light in it because of you than it had ever had before, and Sara, nothing is going to change that I love you."

"Thank you." Sara's voice was more steady, but plainly exhausted.

"Sara, is the case closed now? Can you go home to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Good. Honey, go to sleep. I'll catch the first flight I can into Vegas, and when I get there, I'll hold you in my arms and tell you then that everything will be okay. Will you be okay until then?"

Sara smiled, even though Grissom couldn't see it. He knew her well enough to sense when she was smiling, anyway, so that didn't matter so much. "Grissom, I just really do love you."


End file.
